


So will I

by akfanficlove



Series: My Seblaine Week 2020 [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Boys In Love, Caring Sebastian, College, Fluff, France (Country), Glee References, Hurt Blaine Anderson, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, POV Blaine Anderson, POV Sebastian Smythe, Paris (City), Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Seb is so cute, Year Abroad, ben platt - Freeform, seblaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akfanficlove/pseuds/akfanficlove
Summary: He shouldn't be sad. He doesn't want to be sad because Sebastian deserves it all. The internship in Paris, the opportunities that will follow. Most days he's happy for his boyfriend. Today, he's just missing him.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: My Seblaine Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813417
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29
Collections: Seblaine Week 2020





	So will I

**Author's Note:**

> It's Ryans universe, I'm just playing in it. Written for "Seblaine Week 2020 - College". The song used is "So will I" by the beautifully talented Ben Platt.

He stares into the flames, his body turned towards the heat that should comfor him more than it does. He feels the fire warming his thighs, his hands, his face but at the same time something is choking him and there is nothing he can do. Because Sebastian is so far away. Because Blaine knew it would be hard to live on two different continents, Sebastian gone to Paris for six fucking months, Blaine staying all the way here in San Francisco.

But Sebastian seemed to be excited when the internship was offered, and Blaine knew what an amazing opportunity it is, and he didn’t want to hold him back from something that could be changing ways for his boyfriend’s career. He knew that before. What he couldn’t have known was how hard it would actually be.

A single tear drops, rolling down his face, over his nose, wetting the pillow his head is resting on. The song changes to „So will I“ by Ben Platt, part of a Ben-Platt-only-playlist Blaine has been listening to for basically the whole day because Ben is actually one of Sebastian’s favorite singers and sometimes when Blaine misses Sebastian as much as he does now, Ben’s voice actually helps soothing the ache in his heart.

Most of the time Blaine can convince himself that “it’s not that long”, that soon he’ll hold his boyfriend’s hand again while wandering around Fisherman’s Wharf. Sebastian will scoff when Blaine will insist that they’ll go to the little beach in front of the chocolate factory whose name Blaine can’t really pronounce. The beach which is hardly a beach, more like a strip of sand, populated by tourists and people who work nearby, going out for their lunchbreak and a quick smoke of weed.

Besides that **it is** a long time and they are only halfway through the semester.

_“Well, I can't fight your battles_

_But I sure can hold your hand and promise you_

_That the sky will still be up there_

_And the sun will always shine_

_The stars will keep on falling_

_For the ones who wish at night_

_The mountains won't start moving_

_And the rivers won't run dry_

_The world will always be there_

_And so will I.”_

Ben sings and a sob ripples through Blaine’s chest.

_“You say, what if things start changing?_

_I say, we'll be changing with them_

_We'll just sing a different melody_

_And dance at different rhythm_

_You say, what if I give up?_

_I say, that it's one thing that I'll never let you do.”_

And it is exactly what Sebastian would’ve said, actually pretty close to what he really did say the night before he left for France. The night where neither of them really slept, nor talked, both of them just basking in the presence of the other.

Blaine’s head on Sebastian’s chest, listening to the dull beating of Sebastian’s heart against his ribcage, the fingers of his right hand curled in the crook of the taller’s neck, tangled in Sebastian’s hair, stroking lightly. Sebastian’s left hand cradling his cheek – a little damp from silent tears – fingers lightly tugging at his curls, Sebastian’s right arm securely wrapped around his body, holding him close, holding him tight, protecting him from the daylight that is about to tear them apart.

Blaine had looked up while Sebastian whispered sweet nothings against his forehead, trying to memorize every freckle on his boyfriend’s handsome face. That face that can smirk when his mouth tosses out innuendo like it’s candy, that face that frowned when he helped Nick with his French assignment because “Nick, c'est quoi ce bordel? Qu'est-ce que tu fais?” and that face that smiled brightly when Blaine finally agreed that _yes_ , blueberry pancakes with powdery sugar taste better than chocolate ( _it’s only a little white lie to finally end the discussion, Blaine will always be a sucker for chocolate)_.

The face that smiles fondly after he kisses the tip of Blaine’s nose when it is cold outside. Or that smiles a barely-there smile, just gently tugging at the right corner of his mouth when Blaine does something Sebastian thinks is adorable but doesn’t really want to show that he thinks it’s cute. Blaine really misses this smile.

_“Even if the sky is falling_

_And the sun don't want to shine_

_If the stars we used to wish on_

_Disappear into the night_

_Well, I can move a mountain_

_But only by your side_

_Just say you'll always be there_

_I know you'll always be there_

_And so will I.”_

A soft melody interrupts the silence between two songs. Blaine blinks, imprints of the flames still dancing in front of his eyes. He gets up to grab his phone from the table. “Hey killer”, Sebastian’s voice softly whispers in his ear. His voice, thousands of miles away, still thick with sleep because it is like, what, 9 a.m. in France and Sebastian never liked getting up early on weekends. It’s those two words that tear down the wall that Blaine tried to keep up all day, keeping his tears and emotions in check, not allowing himself to miss so much – and now he is lost. Has no words to answer his boyfriend because the only thing that tumbles out of his mouth is a stuttering breath before he is bawling, tears streaming down his face, his hand clutching his phone close to his ear while he falls back on the couch. _Two words and he’s coming undone._

Sebastian on the other end of the line is silent, maybe a little confused, because his next words are soft and laced with worry as he asks: “Blaine? Blaine, hey, what’s wrong? Hello? Shh, hey, talk to me.” And Blaine wants to answer, like, _really wants to answer_ , wants to tell him to _come the fuck home right fucking now_ and hold him like he did that last night in January, 95 days ago.

But all he manages is a quiet “Seb, I love you so much, sometimes I miss you so bad…” – his voice seems strangled and he doesn’t want this, wants to be brave and strong because he knows it is hard for Sebastian, too, to hear Blaine complain about professors and rehearsal time and not being able to wrap his arms around his waist and kiss the frown away. He doesn’t want to make it harder but here he is, crying while his barely awake boyfriend feels helpless, being on the other side of the planet.

“I really miss you, too, B – you know, I do. We both knew it wouldn’t be easy and, I mean, it’s amazing here, truly, it’s great and I really like being here, but… you know I miss you a lot and it’s harder than I ever imagined and…”

Sebastian falls silent. For someone who had always been quick with his tongue, he feels like an utter failure at offering comfort with his words. He still remembers awkwardly patting Jeff’s back when he made him cry during Warbler practice ( _again_ ) or bringing Nick a fresh mug of coffee after he got so frustrated during his French assignment that he had thrown his hands up in the air and with them all the sheets of paper ( _again_ ). He also remembers his last night with Blaine, his heart filled with excitement and pain and the fear of losing Blaine while he tried to hold onto his small body as tight as he could because _what else could he do?_

“I know”, he hears Blaine say, his voice a little louder now. “I know and I’m so happy for you, I really am, Seb. I hope you have the time of your life and maybe next year over summer we’ll go back together, and you’ll show me all your favorite places and kiss me silly under the Eiffel tower…”

“I’d really like that.”

“It’s just that right now, it’s pretty easy to feel alone –”

“Blaine…”

“and I don’t want to feel that way, I really don’t. I don’t want you to feel guilty or ruin your experience –”

“Blaine.”

“or make you feel like I don’t trust you because I do, Sebastian, I – “

“Blaine!”

Sebastian’s tone makes Blaine fall silent because, _great, he made it, he made his boyfriend get upset when he probably just woke up_. Tears threaten to spill over once again as he listens to Sebastian’s breathing.

“I am not there with you, that’s true. But that does not mean I’m not there. I always am, I promise. I can’t promise to make the pain of me missing you and you missing me go away but I can promise that I’ll try. Call me at night when you had a bad dream and I’ll tell you bad jokes until you feel the urge to hang up just to make me stop. Call me when you had a shitty day and you just want to rant but also call me when you had an amazing day. Call me when you can’t sleep, and I swear I’ll drop everything to sing to you. You can even call me an idiot because I know it means you think I’m adorable and you love me.”

Blaine snickers.

“Call me, text me, send me a carrier pigeon, for all I care. We’ll both be busy sometimes and I know sometimes you think that whenever we talk it should be meaningful, but I really don’t mind the nonsense you sometimes ramble about. Nothing could make my life here better than your nonsense, to be exact.”

Blaine sniffles but now it’s because he really feels the need to grasp Sebastian’s face and kiss him senseless. “Tu me manques…”, he whispers because _yes_ , he tried to improve his French for next year when he’ll be walking the streets of Paris with Sebastian ( _also because it sounded so sexy…_ ) and the French term somehow seems more fitting than any other language: _Tu me manques – you are missing from me._ Only this time, it’s laced with less pain and more affection.

“Tu me manques aussi, ma biche…” Sebastian answers and the lump in Blaine’s throat that tried to choke him disappears, making room for a warmth that spreads from his heart through his body until it reaches his fingertips.

“Oh, and Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“There is really no reason to be jealous. There is no one around here with an ass like yours and I spent way too much time **getting** your cute little ass to let you go now before I can at least **touch** it once more.” Blaine can hear the smirk through the phone.

“Oh, shush you, you ruined the moment, Sebastian!”

He hears Sebastian laughing on the other end of the line. 95 days done, 88 more to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and happy Seblaine week! Fun fact: The beach which isn't in San Francisco really exists and I really missed this city lately - so I gave it a place in my art. If you want, find me on tumblr (akfanficlove) or Insta (ann_kathrin_seidel). Love you <3


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